foundation life

i miss de previous time with u guys...^^

all in black ~ 

happy family ^^

lol...not ready yet ...=p messy arr~~~

Peace ! ^^V

with my 2 best sista ! lengnui ,pheweee~ 

wow...this who huh ? LOL

my BEST BEST bf~ haha! 

Fai didi ~ 

MEMORIES ❤♥• ♥❤

my 20th birthday

today i really dont want to celebrate my birthday,
recently occur too much unhappy things
make me frustrated ! hatred of my life right now!
i just want to become alone ..
but then you guys make me so so so HAPPY !!!
I wont forget today my 20th birthday!

1st, thanks you ALEX~ i love my HIPPO CAKE~
although i dint try because the beer making me too full ad,
but i appreciate it so muchhh~ i really like PINK HIPPO~ CUTE^^
LOVE YOU ~ My besta!

2nd, thanks you NICOLE~ thanks for sponsor beers for me!!!
i so want it that night!!!making me drunk~ no more sadness^^
happy birthday for you too ya!!!
together celebrate quite fun! and i love the feel together with u guys!

3rd, thanks you WinnShern, James, Eiko and ShARK sHARK!!!
YOU GUYS ARE fantastic!!!
i love de cake you make yourself  me~~
omg! it is SWEET like hell1!!
i got finish de cakes ! haha~
although we know each other just a short period! but i can feel the HEART from you guys!
appreciate it~
SHARKshark!!! i love my present so muchhiie!!! thanks you@ ~~

4th, thanks you my 6 hours bf - FAI ~
thanks for bring me to ipoh...acc me shopping and secret recipe cakess!!
wait for your birthday, i ll do de same thgs for you@ wait me ya^^
love you forever!

5th, the MOST IMPORTANT!!!!
THANKS YOU MY BEST BEST BEST ahma~~~~
teck weei , teck yuan and ah four too!!!
i love my cakes!
i love my present from ahma!!! EAR PHONE + PENCIL BEG!!!
U GUYS ARE ALWAYS WITH ME !!!
i wont sad anymore , dont worry!
birthday should be happy!
i dont want to care the guys that not important for me !
think of myself and u guys!!!

ni men shi zui hao de!!!
LOVE U~
muacksszzZ!

bitch!

few days ago i argue with my best friends ,

i admit i got fault that i angry both of them , 

i have no qualify to angry anymore ,

you want to kiss anyone , i have no right to stop ,

somemore that day is your birthday

everyone was happy but only me upset

i should control myself , i m too selfish ,

if i control my pressure well, this all unhappy things wont happen, u guys happy enough and i should pretend to be happy too...

now only think back, it is too late ,

you must hate me so much  ! 

my birthday oso don't want to wish me ! 

you really a small gas guy! hate you too!

i tot we both still can become best friends but you make all things become this worst ... make me to HATE YOU! nothing much i can say for you, just everything let it go... THE END !

jing micky!~~ 

this girl is a fucking bitch! 

i wont hate her! and thank you let me know this world got a type of ppl call "shuang mian ren" 

you are de one i met up! and you please fuck off from my life! ! !

变了

一切都变了
变得不是我自己
我也不认识我自己了
为什么会做一些让人讨厌自己的事
没了
没得原谅
算了
无法补救了
做回自己好吗？
原来的自己！

untitle

很烦！ 不喜欢你们吵架，很小很小的事就吵到酱严重，不喜欢看到你哭泣，心里真的不好受， 不要吵了好吗？

i'm lost but only you

PLEASE! 

because of my bad attitude, my friends start to dislike me and even hate me

i know this only this few days and it is too late to know all this

i did too many bad things to make u guys hatred of me

yup~ i admit all this , because i had change alot

since foundation life until now, about 2 years period

alot of things happen around me 

happiness and sadness

about my ex stuffs ...

it is obvious ! i seriously change my pattern (behaviors and attitudes) when i start my 2nd relationship...

firstly, i think that  because of tat FXXXer , and influence me change to another people

my friends all felt that i 'm not me anymore~ my attitude totally different, nobody can accept this! 

but day after day, i felt that this problem is my personal problem, 

not related to anyone of cause that FXXXer....

what wrong with me? 

why i change to become like that? STOP! 

don't make de problem become worst and can't cure !

i know it is hard to make my friend to accept me back...hate is hate ! can't force them to like me ...

i don't want to lost all my things anymore! 

i wanna find back~ if i did any wrong for u guys - i wanna say "I'M SORRY" !!!

i m not that clever when i make someone else not happy or angry, because my pattern is straight forward, din't think twice and just direct to say out my opinion~ 

that's why i make alot people unhappy and don't like to friend with me

i don't want continue all this! 

STOP PLZZZZZZZZZZZ.....

it's hurt and pain~

the things happen and it won't change back like previous time 

de things i should do right now is ...

don't do again ! this is a huge punishment and last time for me!

no more enough time for me to PLAY!

stop being like a kid plz!

guai la~ obedient and listen to mommy~ study hard ! 

bb

i love you my boy ... 

- the end -

i have a lot thgs wanna share with you

but i can't say out for you when i look into your eyes 

i can't treat you like normal friend not because i don't want friend with you anymore, 

i can't control myself

yea , i admit that i still got feel with you

and even more deeply as compare with previous time

but what should i do? 

i wish i can satisfy what you want from me

i want do it for you my dear

but it's hard

i try again and again 

not your problem , is my problem...

this few days i trouble you  

i'm sorry ! 

the thg i only can do for now is concentrate on my study

as u told me that wanna graduate together and i won't give up easily for my life

i don't have any hope from you 

i 'm just wanna change my life 

become the life that strange for me

but i will try to adopt and work harder and harder

don't worry... i won't stuck into your life anymore

and you too ....work harder for your study , graduate together ^^ 

love regards for you , my bb~ 

女孩

女孩身体都被淋湿了但心却在颤抖，

脑袋想的唯一号码拨电了，

但他并不出现。。。

女孩被无视了吗？

女孩忍着心中的伤痛，

不哭了。。。

学会坚强了。。。

happy birthday to my sista - CAROL ♥♥♥

i'm glad to celebrate with your 20th big day~
somemore go to my hometown to celebrate...
is a memorable date for me
and u guyssss
v r crazy purposely go to my place to eat SEAFOOD
bcoz of ur favorite FISH...
from kampar to sabak bernam BNO ...spend 1hrs ++
but it is worth
coz we all enjoy and have a great time with u
i mk a gift for u but late to give you...so paiseh...
dont wan show u first the gift ...
after i done ady then oni post here^^
hi m sure tat u love it so muchiie~
again for u my dear...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!
WISH U STAY PRETTY AND CUTE ~
LOVE U OWIS^^ MUACKZZZ

♥ ♥ ♥ MUACKZZZZ ♥ ♥ ♥

special friend

i lost a friend
a special friend
we know each other only about 3 months++
u comfort me alot when i heartbroken
u keep accompany me when i need a friend to talk with
to share with my sadness
u too
u share your experience with me
u teach me become strong
bring me alot joyful time
keep make me laugh
our friendship is quite complicated
we play with each other
sometimes too over
but i know that we are just playing
not serious
coz for me
you're a special friend for me
but why?
what happen?
u disappear so suddenly?
u block me from fb suddenly?
can't contact u
call u but don't wanna ick up my phone
sms u din't reply me
WHY WHY WHY??
what's wrong with u ?
what's wrong with me?
what's wrong with us?
plz....tell me the truth...CW~

i felt

I felt sumtime u r nt with me
I felt sumtime u r nt listen to me
I felt sumtime u r nt in my mind
I felt sumtime u r nt in my heart
I felt sumtime u r nt care about me
I felt sumtime u r nt hear me
I felt sumtime u r nt wanna with me
I felt sumtime u r nt stay with me
I felt sumtime u r nt run with me
I felt sumtime u r nt follow my step
I felt sumtime i m nt follow ur step too
I wish
I hope
all my felt is jz a false,
because i wanna to tell u that:
u r my part in my life~

house mate's gap

i apologize for my bad attitude, but this is me, not you don't know me well!!
just ask you do me a favor not i want to kill you
i think i had gap with you since few months ago
don't know y when wanna to talk with you that time
we will easily grab into quarrel or argue
u don't like to talk with me
i din;t force you
coz i not really like to talk with you too
i don't want to see your smelly face
make me felt like i owe you alot of money
ask you 10 questions and only reply me 1 or 2  answers and even not complete
maybe i treat you differently as compare with others
coz i adapt ady, yea....maybe!
okay~ i change it and won't want your help anymore
sometimes i really felt wanna to move out here
i don;t live with unhappily
and no communications with house mates
we live together tat's mean we like a family and don;t have any gap within all of us
i wish to be happy live with you
i wish you too
so can you plz turn all this back?

=as simple as possible=

answer

what???
what you are trying to give???
what you are really wanna to let me know???
what are your heart feel???
what are your mind think???
what is the secret inside your heart???
what what what???
good or bad???
i won't surprise coz i know the answer is what you want to give me...

i don't want

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want   i love you  i don't want i don't want

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want 

爱情玩偶

不知为什么觉得自己像是个玩偶
被一个玩了又一个
没有一个是真心的对待
没有一个是真真的爱过
“爱情“ ，这两个字已经不再属于我的世界
我没有资格被爱吗？
我想要的爱情已经不是我想要就会有
我努力也没用了
男人，都一样
全部都一样
他们的答案永远都是一样
我是个代替品
代替你们的前伴侣
代替你们的孤单
满足你们的需求
当被玩够了
玩厌了
不想再继续了`
就被厌倦
就被抛弃
到最后
什么都没得到
什么都没了
受伤的人永远都是我一个
能怪谁呢？
因为我的外表出众？
因为我的身材不错？
吸引到异性的青睐？
？？？？？？？？？
因为因为这种种的原因
没有一个是真心的对待我的感情
原来我要完美的爱情
是不属于我的天堂我的梦想

我可以找回来我的专属爱情吗？

熟悉的陌生人

i miss u...

jz a simple miss...

no other special mean...

so wanna know ur life nw...

jz nw go read through ur blog...

u r fine right nw...

with her...

tat's great ...

keep it...

3 months passed with you...

u and me 

i hav nth else to talk with u

v r nt couples anymore

v r nt best friends anymore

v r wat nw? 

jz a familiar stranger ...

-miss you-

Actal - gastric pills

i wait for the "thing" from you ....

the thing you want to gift

the thing you promise wanna give me after class

the thing you say is important for me

the thing you secret it

the thing you don't wanna to let me know

the thing you show you care about me

the thing you show you care my body more than myself

the thing you give me to make me forget painful

because i realize that the thing is a

" HAPPY PILLS  =) "

given by you ....bb~ 

谢谢你对我的好

i juz want to tell you that.....

really really really....

thanks a lot!!!

For helping me today... 

and everything...

and a lot of things...

u did help me...

when i face problems...

i don't know how and what to do...

but you...appear...

together with me...

help me solve all the difficulties...

i felt guilty coz i cant do anythg for u...

u're a good guy!!! gentleman~ ^_^

i promise u....

i wanna be with u til graduate ~ 

thankssssssssssssssssssssssss~

j。m。P。* bb

what is the meant by bestfriend?

i'm curious..confusing..

what relationship we are now? best friend izit?

yup...i m always think that we are juz best best friend...

but how about you?

but we are too close and over best friend status oledi....

don't you think so?

best friend can holding hand? 

what the feel when u holding my hand?

my mind blank~ coz too sudden...totally don't know how to give response...

but i din't push u away from me...WHY? i also don't know...

best friend can hugging?

i think huggings is normal for all friends, so this is okay...

then how about kissing??

????????????????????

"best friend" = hugging + kissing =p

i just want to kiss !!! never want to miss!!!

最后的只给你

不知怎么了？
我的心不见了。。。
我已感觉不到心在跳了。。。
心已死了。。。“它”不再为你跳了。。。
我真的把你给放下了，对吧？
看见你现在跟她个过的很好。。。
我也不知的为你开心了。。。
之少你现在是开心的。。。
我也不需要再打扰你的生活了。。。
我们未来会怎样我也不懂。。。
没有了怨恨，剩下的只有你为我留下的痕迹。。。
要忘记？但总是会想起，开心的不开心的。。。
就让它沉淀在我们的回忆里吧。。。
祝你幸福~

我为你写的最后一个部落格~
真的关于你一切都结束了。。。

我也会过得很好
比以前更好~

另一个她

只喜欢那时候的你, 而你只喜欢这时候的她，


希望你不要伤害她像我一样，

我不会原谅你对我的伤害，

但我不会恨你，你自己好知为知吧~
 

习惯

不知不觉放假已经快要一星期了。。。
好不习惯电话的铃声一次都没响过。。。
一封信息也没收到。。。
我就像狠狠地被他遗忘了。。。
心里一直在滴血。。。
什么是痛？我已经感觉不到了。。。
说是忘了，死心了。。。
原来只是用来骗自己不要去想他而已。。。
最终我还是忘不了。。。
能怎样呢? 
习惯ｌａ～

我不要了

我很佩服我自己，我做了很棒的事，虽然很不舍，但是值得的。。。
现在是我不要了，我不要他了，我不要再继续折磨我自己，太痛了。。
昨晚是我第一天把他给忘记了，没有留恋，没有掉任何一滴泪，
心口麻麻的，可能我太累了吧`。。。
不过我不会让自己休息，一点空间都不可以，我怕又会想起他。。。
我不要再哭了！！！所以再累也无所谓。。。
所以我逼自己不让自己休息，24小时都忙着读书，读不进也要读！不准休息~
他的一切一切，我一一都不想要了。。。

傻

今天不懂怎么了～
突然心情糟透了·。。。
可能又想到他了·，不小心又飙泪了。。。
无法控制的流下来。。。
为什么我还会念念不忘·？
我能忘记他吗？
谁能告诉我？？？

他

心淡了...
他让我对他心淡了...
骗了一次又一次...

不想了...
想了只让我自己痛苦...
他不会有感受...
他不会痛...
痛的人只有我一个...

他是第一个让我感受到什么是痛的人...
谢谢,
他让我成长...让我比以前勇敢...

安静了- our love

只剩下钢琴陪我站在这里 

梦想中属于我们的婚礼 .  
这沉默的人在幻境醒去 

在这场爱情脚力的拔河里  
爱我还是爱你  
你选择了自己  
撒娇的 可爱的 女人的 爱哭的  
照片里 曾经的 都是你喜欢的  
如今我还在原地  
你却走回你的记忆  
你说我爱你太多  
就快要把你淹没你害怕幸福短暂一秒就崩落 
分开是一种解脱让你好好的想过我想要的那片天空  
你是不是能够给我 

你说我给你太多 却不能给我什么  
分不清剧情承诺永恒或迷惑 

爱情是一道伤口 
我们各自苦痛  
沉默是我最后的药 

 
是因为我太爱你  
 

没有关系了

现在，·
已经没有关系了
没有你的日子我一样过得很好
每天都开开心心的
还有一班朋友一直陪着
不断哄我开心
好喜欢他们噢。。
谢谢～ 

虽然每天睡觉前会不经意掉泪
闭上眼睛全部都是你
我的抱抱都湿透了·
还能怎样呢？
不想了·，
做回我自己吧！
我的开朗活泼的性格跑哪去了？
我一定要找回来～

= 开心吧·=

study

today is the 2nd day,we din't contact each other...no msn...no sms...no calling...i still can't adapt...
i hope that i will stop missing u by studying and together with my friends, but why i still will keep a place for u in my heart...stupid! i'm so stupid ! i don't want being this stupid anymore, think a guy who r not missing me...
okay,control myself,plz! stop thinking abt u! STUDY !!!

残酷的爱情

你对我的残忍
让我无法呼吸

每当一次又一次想到你的时候
我的眼泪无原无故落下
无法停止

不过还是谢谢你
因为你是为了保护我才这样做
你说对我什么都没有了
除了愧疚还是愧疚
你会不断的逃避
不断的躲着我
害怕看见我
因为看见我就会让你很辛苦
让你看见了你自己的弱点
你无法给我最好的
我不会怪你
我会接受你为我们做的
你说你变了
我也变了
可是我们变的速度不一样
你的脚步太快了
而我太慢了
你已经不能再等我了
无法退回原点了
我们曾经热恋过
一切让它成为只属于我们的回忆
我会珍惜现在
只少我们还有彼此友谊
再见了“我们的爱情”。

26.4.2010  - 12.00am  （babe's house)

stress

he felt stress recently...
coz final is around the corner...
when find him to chat...
he will easily get angry...
and said out alot "bullshit" to hurt me...
i don't what should i do to help him release his stress...
the things only i can do is - don't bother him while he is studying...`
good luck dear! all the best ya ~

♥ 留恋· ♥

我到底想要的是什么

越来越搞不懂自己了

我很想忘记

很想忘记你

为什么就是不能？

很想重新自己的生活

就是不能放下你

对于感情

我已经对 任何一个男人没感情了

除了你

我知道和 你不会有以后

我也不盼望和你有将来

我只想守 着这样的心情

爱着你就够了

看见你幸 福就好了

只要你开心换回来的是什么都不重要

因为没什 么比你开心幸福来得重要

我不想去爱其他男人

我害怕再 受伤

我害怕被冷落的感觉了

我害怕孤独

很感谢一路以来我的朋友陪我走过

陪我不开 心

陪我度过最难过的时候

最后我还 是放不下你

只能选择祝福你

因为我看 见你开心我的心才又微笑

谢谢你， ♥ my babe ♥

my mind

MESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSY mind...

i want to rest

i want to breath

i want to forget

i want to happy

i want u the most^^

get use to it ❤

CRY, 

i was get used to it !!!

days and nights when recall back our memories...

oh my god~ 
my pity beautiful eyes become swollen eyes ad...
sad T_T

- still ♥ u -

F.B

i hate facebook! because of it we quarrel alot of times...sadness!

it jz influence our good relationship...

i really hate it...

i wish tat the FB won't easy to influence both of us again...

okay ? ♥ u~

= cherrish our relationship =

friendship forever

Recently alot prob occur on me, i'm so stress..too heavy load for me...i cry day and night...can't even sleep well, but no ppl und me, coz i will still like normally ,everyday wear my "smiling mask" to meet everyone...i dont like to let ppl know tat i m unhappy or felt sad ,tis will only make my frens to worry about me, i want they happy and tis is my pleasure...the 1st thgs is about "love" prob...i love sum1 but v cn't together, and v keep quarrel tis few days, maybe is our communication prob or i m too jeolous tat he keep flirting with those girls...bt finally i found tat i m too naive nt mature enuff....he is jz close with them,tis is his behaviour...is nthg...stop my mind to think those stupid thgs!my tears are nt worth for tis...wish tat v can still like previous time, be "friend" my babe ~

2nd thgs is about my study..tis i dont wanna to say out...coz everthgs settle ady, thanks my lecturer...i will respect him forever^^ 

and the last thgs...is my friendship...the most important for me...

ahma, u are the one who i care the most...the other ppl say me hurt me i m jz listen and forget...bt urs...every words...i will remember and remind it through my life...i will try my best to change my bad attitude...wont dissapointed u k?~ love u forever my dear~ and i cherrish everytime together with u ... my tears is worth for u, i wish i cn find back what i lost and back to normal life as usual^^

♥ white party ♥

 ♥ Barroom theme " WHITE PARTY "~
 ♥ All ladies & gentlemen with WHITE colour attires
 ♥ i have a great time with my frens at barroom last night
 ♥ 4 cars of utarians together
 ♥ after FBF 's PROM night
 ♥ around 11pm sumthg
 ♥ enjoy the dance floor
 ♥ enjoy the DJ music
 ♥ enjoy the beers + wines + wiskeys
 ♥ tonight gonna be a good night, tonight gonna be a good good night..
    woohoo...

 pretty Elaine with me...

my dear Elora with me...

 lengzai with me...

Jon jon with me...

Jiunn nick with me...

fake TianQi with me...

Jaengar with me...

LET'S TOGETHER~~

 Hope can attend BLACK PARTY too~ LOL^^ yeah~

cut hair...

plan to cut my hair, too hot the weather, like fire burnt everyday...

although still got rain but it seems like more hot after rain...

hate it~ i can't "tahan" ad...

keep sweat-ing after take bath! 

almost tak-ing 5 times bath per day...LOL

any suggestion? lolZ...

this is my hairstyle now...

Bikini ♥

designed by my sweet COCO

she really expert in drawing^^ good job my dear~

♥ it so so so much~

let's go bikini party~ woohoo~

                                                                    ♥ the end. ♥                                                                             

♥ sexy dance with my crew members~

• Dance Fiesta March 2010
• Crew : Cross V ( Munhon , Benny, YK, Zhen ,Eric, Saki, Angi, charmaine and me ♥ )
  
• Dances :  

1. brown eyed girl- abracadabra   
2. G-DRAGON - Heartbreaker 
3. Taegoon 태군 - Call me    

There are some other pics ♥ :

                                             sexy dance with cross v girls^^ 

Eric & me...

  Leader munhon & me...

    with saki ,cha cha and angi~~

                                                                  with my babe ♥

 i really love tis ...GO GO POWER RANGER^^

THE END ~